Why I photograph Water.

A lot of people asked “well why water” and what I usually say is “well why not” but the truth is that I constantly feel like Im drowning. Between my anxiety and pathetically still being in love with someone who crushed me two years go I always feel like I can’t breath. I find it very contradicting that the way I tend to deal with this idea of always drowning is by drowning myself in alcohol. Which is how I came up with this series. When I think about love I picture myself a thousand feet underwater surrounded by darkness. Which is exactly also how I feel when I have anxiety attacks. I go from being totally fine one second then the next I’m struggling to breath trying to feel my heartbeat while my head starts to spin. Its a scary feeling when you constantly get these attacks thinking your not going to make it. And for anyone else that feels like this just know your not alone.

Even with just thinking about life and the feeling of drowning in regrets or just over thinking about the choices I have made it feels like I’m constantly struggling to stay up float. Its almost like this series turned into accepting the fact that one day I will drown but when I do it will be the fucking coolest thing you have ever seen. And thats what I want people to get out of this series.

I have accepted things in my life that I was so afraid of accepting like the fact that the guy I love may never come back and I have accepted to go forward with my career as much as it scares me as possible as it is that I may drown one day from it. And I think thats what life is about in a way. You either stay on the ground miserable that you wont take the chance or you take the chance with the possibility of drowning. But even if you do drown you make sure people don’t forget the way you do making sure that either way you did something for yourself. Each piece also has their own underlying messages from climate change with the image of the plant and clear water, to referencing the movie IT, honoring my cousin with the monarch butterfly, showcasing my own image of a evil queen, to exaggerating the idea for peoples need of coffee or exaggerating the idea of splashing ourselves every morning when we brush our teeth.

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